Long story short, Way #625 didn’t work. It super didn’t work. It was a great way to get you and your snobby patron blown against the wall, but it didn’t do much about the rockslide you just made worse by creating another seismic event. In fact, if you’re lucky, you won’t even notice the huge crack splitting the priceless ancient artifact in half. You’ll probably notice the golden light pouring out. That’s pretty hard to miss.

You’re bound to notice Sally glowing with the same golden light. Even if you didn’t pick that up yourself, the big deal she’s making about it is pretty hard to miss. She’s tugging on her platinum blond braid to try to get it off. “I don’t know what your machine did to me, but it better undo it!”

You can try to massage the ringing out of your ears, but Sally’s shouting isn’t helping. She’s got a knack for knowing when to be loud right into your ear. “There isn’t a machine any more. It exploded.”

“Well, make one that won’t explode and fix this! What am I paying you for?”

“Do you even know what’s wrong? You could just be covered in gold dust or something.”

“It’s the same stuff pouring out of that egg you just cracked. If it causes cancer, I’m suing.”

“So far, it hasn’t caused anything. Will you hold still?”

Sally would not hold still. If anything, she was getting better at wiggling than ever. Not to mention the bursts of light she fired from her palms. At you. At the walls. At the magical ancient cracked egg. That’s… new.

Luckily, Sally realized it, too. She looked at her palms. You should probably gently remind her not to point those at things she doesn’t want to see shot. Like all that expensive dentistry, or the mad scientist whose bills she should read more closely.

“Does this happen often?”

“Lab accidents that give annoying rich girls superpowers? Less often than you’d think.”